Updated: Jun 4
As soon as the clock chimed 12 on my 30th birthday something inside me snapped. It was as if I had reached my mid-life crisis.
Suddenly, I became very aware of my mortality, choices and the path that I was forging for myself as well as my son. Through that moment of self-awareness, I knew that something had to change.
I needed to become a better version of me. To do this, I need to change a few things….
Being more assertive. In my 20’s I was frustrated and tired of bending over backwards for other people and saying yes when I should of have said no. Trying to please others, made me unhappy. I changed this; I reasoned that life is just too short to live it for others. My life must be lived by me, for my happiness. Now I say yes, only if it’s something that I would like to do and it will bring me joy. I don’t force myself to do something that would make me disgruntled later.
Strengthening my faith. Through many disappointments, life has taught me that I cannot depend on others. Through some of my toughest times in life, I have been alone or away from family and the only thing that kept me afloat was my faith and love of God. I knew that I needed to strengthen and nourish this even more in my 30’s since I suspected many more hard and lonely days to come.
Choosing to be happy on my own. I noticed that the guys I thought loved me, loved themselves more and it left me feeling empty. To change this, I made a choice to be happy and learn how to be happy on my own. I pushed myself to go out on my own, see a movie, explore a new sight. I stopped waiting for the time when I have a boyfriend to go out. Instead, I learned to seize and cherish these moments on my own and find contentment within them. In my 30’s, I took responsibility for my happiness and stopped expecting a man to make me happy. Although, I do expect him to join in on my fun.
Growing in wisdom. In my 30’s I chose to see the world, to experience new things, to talk more, to be more observant, and to get to know more people. I did this because not only time gives one wisdom but so do experiences. I wanted to take myself out of the shell that I put myself in and become someone who is experienced and wise.
Being stronger. I decided to start nourishing my body through eating healthy and regularly exercising and pushing it to do more and more every day. The older that I get, the more that I need my body to be in its best shape to keep pushing me forward. Last year, I completed five races and won third place in one.
Standing my ground. Before, it was too easy for someone to change my mind on a decision. Now, I am very sure of myself and my instincts. My word is my bond, and my decisions are final.