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I know I’m late watching Trainwreck, everyone has seen it, talked about it and are now big fans.  But I’m just getting around to it, so I thought why not?  I was curious to see what all the fuss was about.  I know Amy Schumer is a funny girl who calls it as she sees it, but I had to see how well it will translate on the big screen or more like my computer screen. The idea of a female character who is a hot mess peeked my interest.  I love to watch a flawed, awkward, yet independent female lead that at the end just makes it all work. Without a doubt, Amy is more than just a bit off and a hot mess, she has deep-seated issues that go back to her childhood when her dad taught her to believe that monogamy is not real.  Her childhood lesson turned Amy into an adult who is afraid of engaging in long-term relationships and its happily and raunchily promiscuous. The hilariously twisted, racist, raunchy and slutty dialogue is what carries the movie into moments of laughter, smiles, cringe-worthy turns of the head and embarrassed laughs but when the sex scenes take place is when hilarity ensues. These are not ‘The Notebook’ sex scenes, these are painful to watch yet hard to look away scenes that show Amy tip toeing around amorous feelings and the possibility of an emotional connection while having selfish sex with one night stands. There are two particular sex scenes in the movie that are awkwardly funny and deserve a mention, the one with Steven and the one with Donald, the intern.  John Cena plays Steven and they couldn’t have found the perfect contradiction to play this character.  Steven is a gym rat who is completely unaware of the gay vibes he gives while John Cena is a wrestler who embodies a straight masculine persona.  When Amy asks Steven to talk dirty while having sex, it’s almost too hard to watch because it’s a complete disaster! Although he forewarns Amy that he does not think he can do it, he gives it a shot.  He starts his dirty dialogue by relating sex to nutrition to which Amy disapproves, then to motivational talk that is another no-no from Amy and then finally to Chinese phrases that are an absolute turn off to her.  Amy then prompts him to recall out loud the moment they first met.  Steven gives in to the request and talks about the moment he first laid eyes on Amy and how attracted he was to her.  He explains to Amy that the reason he was attracted to her at that moment was because she looked like a dude from the back and with that thought he climaxes with the funniest of sex sounds.  Steven then goes to the bathroom to chugs water while covering his penis with a face towel and reminds Amy to hydrate.  I particularly appreciate this last scene the most. I guess they saved the best for last because the last sex scene indeed wins the price.  Being bummed that she had broken up with Aaron, Amy decides to go out to the bar with her co-workers.  She ends up drinking and going home with the intern Donald.  Although intercourse never happens for these two, it’s the foreplay that drives this scene.  It is obvious that Donald has watched way too many porn movies and is trying unsuccessfully to recreate it with Amy.  When he asks Amy to suckle his tits, and she replies with “I don’t have a good angle” as she tries her best to do it, had me dying!  I laughed out loud for a long time.  Next, Donald snorts Adderall from Amy’s forehead as he makes the most annoying sex sounds and explains to her that he has ADHD.  Finally, Amy goes on top and tries to take charge as Donald calls her “daddy,” he explains to Amy that his save word is pineapple, but I don’t think she pays him any mind.  It is obvious that Amy is expecting ‘normal sex’ not some amateur version of S&M, but Donald wants to be hit in the face, and he shows Amy just how hard to do it.  The slap that Donald gives Amy to show her how it’s done provokes her to retaliate.  Amy reacts by punching Donald so hard that she had him yelling PINEAPPLE.  The commotion causes Donald’s mom to barge into the room and yell at Amy for having sex or almost having sex with her sixteen-year-old son.

As with every good story, it must come to an end, and Trainwreck had that nice feel, wrapped in a perfect bow-ending where Amy uses the NY Knicks cheerleaders to profess her love to Aaron.  Of course, her dance moves are not perfect although she nails some of them, and she’s a bit clumsy and out of shape but the effort that she puts into it shows Aaron that she wants to make their relationship work.  On the last song of the routine Amy goes for the grand finale and tries to mimic a Harlem Globetrotter move by jumping on a trampoline, doing a flip, and then dunking the ball.  In a cringe-worthy moment Amy’s efforts don’t give her the air that she needs to make the dunk and after a perfect jump and a flip that gave me the hope that she just might make it, she does a face plant on the mat.  With that embarrassing flop, she shows Aaron that she’s serious and more than willing to make it work with him, and he agrees.

XOXO Johanny

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